How I Moved On From A Toxic Addiction To A Healthy Relationship | Crisis

This is the last step to liberating yourself from a toxic addiction and turning it into a healthy relationship. If you want to know how my journey started, you can check it out here so you can follow along.

In March 2020, the streets of Cebu City, as well as majority of the whole world became silent. Everyone stay in their homes and tuned in to the news and social media sites know about the latest death toll of the Covid-19 pandemic. It was the biggest crisis that I had experienced in my entire life. Businesses were closed. Offices we unoccupied. Streets were empty. If it was possible to work from home, that's what everyone did. I was one of those people who worked from home.

Amidst the uncertainty and despair caused by the pandemic, I found a silver lining. Because I was one of those fortunate enough to work from home, there was no big concern about how we could survive the pandemic. The biggest problem, though, was that it was very hard to find supplies. This also meant that whatever I used to enjoy, I had to cut most of them.

It also meant that I had to totally cut off my smoking. Aside from being cut off from the supply, my family, especially my mother, really didn't like the smell of cigarettes. My father was a smoker before and he had also quit because my mother doesn't like the smell. I haven't mentioned this but my father, although he doesn't know, was a big inspiration for me because he was really able to cut all his vices when he started to have children. I am his eldest child, so I could say he stopped his vices because of me.

I had mentioned in my previous post that my family did not know that I was a chain smoker. Every time I smoked, I had to go far away and hide all the smell. However, because I was locked down at home because of the pandemic, there was nowhere to hide my smoking, nor go out and smoke elsewhere. I was forced to quit.

I thought, it would only be a few days before we can all go outside and enjoy the things we used to do. Unfortunately, the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months. There was no sign of hope for us to ever go back to normal. Nevertheless, I also realized that I had not smoked for that long. I thought to myself, all those days of restraining myself to just one stick per day paid off. I did not feel any symptoms of withdrawal nor did I have any cravings at all. When I felt that my mouth was feeling empty, I relied on plain black instant coffee. However, I also thought to myself, "I may be free but I shouldn't be too confident." I then decided that I will never go back.

True enough, when everything was starting to go back to normal, all the things I enjoyed were also back. I went back to eating fast food, I suddenly gained weight again because I was eating junk food again. Regardless, there was one thing I never went back to. Even when I see people in the street having a puff, or even when I see someone vaping, I never got the urge to smoke again.

I do admit, I did puff a few hits of shisha or vape but I never tried to buy one. I only ever tried vape because I wanted to try a flavor that a friend was using. I never bought one for myself and I never used a cigarette ever again even if my friends were smoking in front of me. The urge to smoke was completely gone. In effect, I was also saving a lot because I never bought any cigarette for my own. I spent most of my money for food and I was also able to save up to rent a place to live with my partner and eventually live in the condo that we were paying for together.

Now, we are still together, albeit having some trials along the way, we have a stronger relationship because we know we had overcome a lot of obstacles and trials, personally and together. Regardless of what other trial comes next, we now have the confidence of knowing that we have the discipline to overcome them and the will to break through.

With that, I hope that in your journey, I hope you also find the same will and discipline to overcome your own obstacles. I pray that you gain your confidence and the creativity to find a way to make your own toxic habits into a healthy lifestyle. I wish you all the best and remember, you are not alone.

If you want to get the TLDR version of this guide, you can get it for less than a pack of cigarettes here. 

Thanks for reading my story. I hope you enjoyed reading and got inspired to do the same for yourself. Have a good day!